The name of my column is “The Unshakable Optimist,” so you might expect that I’m always happy. That idea would make most of my friends snort with laughter. I’m fun, but I can still get pretty cranky sometimes.
I am fundamentally optimistic, but I’m far from a Pollyanna. I do, however, believe that my optimism is one of the reasons I’ve been able to thrive despite my Parkinson’s disease diagnosis over 11 years ago, at the age of 36.
I like being an optimist. It gives me a sense of control to worry less about the “why” or “what if” and to focus on the “what’s next?” But I’m also fond of saying that if you’re not at the gas station mini-mart in your PJs buying ice cream for breakfast once in a while, you’re living life wrong.
What I mean by that is that it’s OK to wallow sometimes. We all have bad days. And it’s OK to mourn what you thought your future would be, especially when you’re diagnosed with early-onset Parkinson’s disease. Being told you have a devastating, incurable, progressive, neurological disease right as you’re about to enter what should be the prime of your adulthood is indeed a jolt to the system. You need some time to wallow and grieve a “what if” or “what could’ve been.” The problem comes when you spend too much time at the pity party.
Someone once described depression as wishing for a past you can never return to and anxiety as living in a future you can’t control. One way to stay in the present is to choose to be an optimist. Yes, it’s a choice; it’s not something that just appears. It’s about deciding to live in the now and being excited for what’s next, not remaining in the depression or anxiety.
Managing feelings
At the same time, you need to be realistic about your situation and not ignore the disease or avoid doing what you can to improve your future. I saw actor Michael J. Fox speak once, and he compared having Parkinson’s with having an unruly dog. If you train and discipline a dog, feed it well, and take it out for walks and socialization, you’ll have a strong relationship and everything else can go on as usual. If you don’t take care of all those needs, it will eat your furniture.
Being an optimist is a lot like that. You have to make the right choices and do the necessary things. In Parkinson’s, that means taking your meds, staying active, getting sleep, and eating right. If you do these things, you can continue most of your life as usual. If you don’t, Parkinson’s will eat your furniture.
Every day as humans, Parkinson’s patients, and caregivers, we have a choice to make. We need the pity party once in a while to process and mourn, but we also have to know when to end it and choose optimism.
Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.
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